Give Me Your Ice
by WordsinRain
Summary: The flames are getting too hot and Sam decides pressing his hand is not enough. Lucifer is cold. Self-Harm. Hurt/Comfort. SLASH


**Slash! Don't like it don't read.**

**Spoiler alert up to the latest episode [Repo Man] **

**Just a one-shot. Hope you like.**

* * *

><p>Sam presses his hand, the scar, but it isn't enough anymore. Lucifer screams in his head.<p>

'Sammy?'

'What?' Sam snaps. Dean frowns. His lips tighten and he clears his throat. Sam doesn't apologise. Dean gives up and points to a newspaper headline.

'Sammy, Sammy, Sammy,' Lucifer mutters. 'You shouldn't be rude to your brother. Leads to all kinds of apocalyptic problems.'  
>Sam bites his lip. Lucifer is inches from him. He can see the individual whiskers on the vessels jaw.<p>

'So what do you think?' Dean asks. Sam tries to focus on the words but Lucifer is waxing on about Michael being a bitch and there's flames starting to creep around him. Sam gets up to walk to the bathroom.

'Sorry,' Sam says as Dean stares at him. 'Got a headache.' Dean doesn't believe him. Dean knows what it's about. But he doesn't say anything and he won't until he has to. To Dean Lucifer doesn't exist anymore, the pit is as good as being dead. And all this Sam is going through is just some sort of mental problem that can be solved with hunting, and failing that, meds and a therapist. But that isn't the case. Lucifer is alive in that pit and he's alive in Sam's head and Sam can feel him like an itch all over his skin.

Sam grabs the sink in the bathroom and focuses on breathing. Lucifer is leaning against the wall, he doesn't say anything but Sam feels the heat of flames burning his body.

'I can help with that Sammy,' Lucifer says. Sam ignores him. 'I've told you before. I'm cold.'

Sam presses on the hand again, the pain pushes through him, but the wound is healing and Lucifer just shakes his head. The flames are hotter and Sam is starting to sweat.

'I'm in you Sam!' Lucifer screams because the fallen angel doesn't understand having an inside of head voice. 'Hooked into your soul with kitty claws all sharp and bloody.'

Sam punches the mirror because his face reminds him of Lucifer. The glass hits the sink like crystal chimes. He breathes and waits for Dean to say something through the door but he doesn't hear anything. Maybe because Lucifer is now yelling or maybe its because the flames are starting to burn.

'You're going to roast alive,' Lucifer grins and then his forked tongue slides out. Sam knows that it shouldn't be there. Why would Nick have a forked tongue? Did being the devil somehow make it happen? Like if Lucifer didmanage to possess Sam would Sam end up with a forked tongue?

Sam wants to continue thinking about the forked tongue but he feels like he's getting burnt out and he needs this all to stop. He grabs a shard of glass.

'Sammy,' Lucifer shakes his head. But Sam drags the sharp edge against his skin. There isn't any pain for a moment and the blood collects along the line and dribbles down the side of the arm. The pain hits him and for a moment Lucifer and the flames disappear. Sam is lost. But it all comes back too quickly. The flames. The heat. Himself. So he drags the glass across him again.

The seconds of oblivion don't last as long and Sam goes to do it a third time, but deeper, he's going to stick it in and tear through his skin. Lucifer grabs his arm.

Sam stares at Lucifer's hand. His arm feels oddly icey compared to the scorching of the rest of his body.  
>'Hallucination,' Sam says.<p>

'I was never just an hallucination Sam,' Lucifer says. 'Stop hurting yourself.'

'But the heat,' Sam whispers. 'I need the peace.' Sam knows he's not making any sense. But Lucifer's hand hasn't moved and Sam hates to admit he likes the feeling of the coldness on his skin.

'The flames are not mine,' Lucifer remarks. 'PTSD.'

'Is that not what you are too?' Sam asks though he knows he shouldn't be talking to Lucifer, it will make it all worse.

'No, I've been inside you Sam,' Lucifer said. 'You're like my walki-talkie to the outside world, my essence is tied to you.'

Sam ignores him. Its a concept he's already thought of but didn't want to say out loud. Sam was in reality not still in the pit but Lucifer still wasn't a figment of his imagination like he'd hoped. The flames were still hurting. Lucifer pulls Sam to the floor and sits alongside him. The cooling relief is instantaneous and Sam almost groans.  
>'If you're Lucifer why aren't you asking me to be your vessel? Why spend your time with me?'<p>

'Because Michael is insufferable and while I can be a corporeal vision to you I am still in the pit. I sadly cannot wipe out humanity in my current state.'

'Wow, I feel so sorry for you,' Sam says dryly.

'I could move you know,' Lucifer says.

'No.' Sam replies. 'Don't.' Sam thinks what Dean would say if he knew he was using Satan as an ice pack. But he stops the thought before it takes off because it feels too good to ruin with morality.

'Don't hurt yourself anymore Sam,' Lucifer says oddly quietly. Sam looks at his arms and they've healed but there is blood on the floor and on his arms. His blood. Lucifer frowns. 'Just don't.'

Sam is very aware of Lucifer's body now and more than just as a body freezer.

'Want your vessel pristine for when you get out of that pit,' Sam says.

'No. I could heal you then just as easily as now. I am an Archangel,' Lucifer says. 'I just don't like it.'

'And yet you mentally try to destroy me,' Sam points out.

'But it's fun,' Lucifer says and pouts. 'I like messing with you, you're fascinating.'

Sam doesn't understand the devil. But at this moment he doesn't think he needs to. Sam's other side is burning and as soon as he thinks it Lucifer starts to move. He leans over Sam and stops. Sam's thinking of Lucifer's entire body being pressed against him and he knows Lucifer can hear his thoughts and there is something curling in the pit of his stomach, something akin to the fire burning around them.

Lucifer straddles Sam's hips. Sam thinks he should say something to stop this now. There are so many reasons as to why this is fucked up. But the relief of Lucifer's body makes his mind seem seem clearer than it has been in weeks. It's full of the fallen angel and for once he doesn't mind. So Sam kisses Lucifer and it's like an ice cub is caressing his lips. Lucifer parts from him and he breathes out a cloud of air. Sam smiles.

'Like I said,' Lucifer comments. 'You're fascinating.'


End file.
